Day 10: TETONS! 97.3 mi: 4797’ climbing

Today was sponsored by BOLD Cheese-It’s and Excedrin.  I’m fairly certain both contain magical fairy dust that make my body hurt less.

Today was fantastic.  Ok… well, it didn’t start fantastic but it kept getting better so lets just say it was fantastic.

6am start time.  Packing up in the early sun.  The cows had moved elsewhere.  Despite the busy road traffic I had slept quite well, but I was ready to be back into the quiets.

When bikepacking for 10 days you develop a very detailed and specific mental inventory of everything you have.  Except for food- cause you go through that so fast that its impossible to remember what you have at the moment, or did you eat that bag of M&Ms in a fit of hunger an hour ago?  While packing this morning I for the life of me could not find my one warm layer- the blue puffy Patagonia jacket that has kept me from freeing to death multiple times on this trip.  It was gone!  I racked my brain trying to remember when and where I saw it last… I had laid it out in the sun to dry and air out while I went to shower.  But I couldn’t remember seeing it since setting up my tent.  I was convinced someone had stolen it!  As I continued packing I ran through all the different ways I would “speak to the manager” on my way out and then started panicking because I knew my elevation in the coming days would top 9000’ and those would be some COLD mornings… how would I make it?!?!  Finally knocking my tent down to pack it on the bike… there it was… between my ground tarp and tent.  I had thrown it there to hold the ground tarp down in the wind as I was setting up.  Derp.  Relief.  I’m awesome.

Leaving camp at 6:45, I followed the advice of another rider and skipped the small C shaped section of trail, instead heading south on Hwy 20 for 6 miles to Island Park, allowing me to skip  a bunch of crappy volcanic sand ATV trails.  And… I would be able to stop at the convenience store and eat something yummy for breakfast.

But no.  The store was closed.  I sat outside dejectedly eating a wrapped coffee-cake thing I was hoping to have eaten for lunch.  Joining the route, I was greeted with cow-destroyed, massive pothole flooded, loose sandy roads that wound through the dry pine forests.  The cows were easily convinced to move, as I’ve become much braver at just biking right into the mix of them.  This section was not cool.

Then it got worse.  Narrow, two track, loose, black volcanic sand molded into swales by ATVs that perfectly aligned to make the front of my bike move in the exactly opposite direction of the rear… like a teeter-totter.  Not cool.  My legs burned trying to hold my body off the seat as my bike kept attempting to buck me off.  Seeing a road paralleling the route, I stopped and checked the map and see enough- that road would get me the same place as this damned ATV trail.  I went for it and my life greatly improved.  In the distance, the west side of the Tetons could be seen hazily.

A few miles later I rejoined the ATV trail, suffering for another quarter mile, before it smoothed out and dropped into the Warm River Canyon.  Turning into a rails-to-trail path that was left alone by the ATVs, it was absolutely stunning as it slowly descended with the river.  Dropping all the way down to Warm River Campground, which looks to be an amazing place to camp with kids who like to play in the water.

Hopping onto pavement, I joined another rider momentarily as we spun up and out of the canyon.  My bike isn’t geared very low so I was forced to take a faster pace, and didn’t see him again.  Turning to gravel we climbed up and over from one river valley to another.  Suddenly I popped up into farmland, lush and humid, with picture-perfect views of the Tetons in the distance.  Making a turn to the east, I found myself joining another rider, but bikepacking on a skinny-tire gravel bike.  We began chatting, he kindly slowed down to allow for my fatter, slower wheels, and I discovered that he was doing a race from Portland to DC, and our routes just happened to coincide in this narrow route across the Tetons.  I stopped for lunch at a rediculous sign that also had nicely mowed grass to lay in, and he continued riding onwards.

After mowing down a ton of Cheese-its, I continued on.  The road turned to super crappy gravel, freshly grated with a loose and chunky layer of class-5 on top, making the fast paved road speed dissolve into face melting slow gravel wading speed.  My 2.25” fat tires were much better suited for this than the racer’s skinny gravel tires.  I quickly passed him and didn’t see him the rest of the day.

The winds picked up and the Tetons in the distance were shrouded by the dusty air and the road swirled with dirt devils whipped up by the wild winds.  The trees protected me from most of it, and luckily it seemed to be mostly a tailwind in nature.  Plugging along, the gravel slowly started to get better, and my speed increased accordingly, despite the constant upward slow towards Grassy Lake, the high point of today’s efforts.

Riding quickly, I passed a wagon train all decked  out old-school style with covered wagons and cowboys wearing the period attire, looking miserable as they acted as cowboys are expected.  And there were two pick-up trucks carrying all the guests luggage.  Further ahead, I passed the long line of horses being led by wranglers, each horse carrying a tourist who looked bored out of their mind.  I flew past, happy to be riding on two wheels today.

Gaining the high point of the route, with some slow and often-resting pace, I caught up to Brent, and rolled onwards.  The descent was fun, transitioning into a pine-beetle killed forest that afforded interesting views and a different understory of growth.  Navigating around a “road closed” gate and continuing the descent, I came upon the handiwork of another arch nemesis grader.  But this one was much friendlier and less destructive that yesterdays, so the descent was not slowed much.

Finally, emerging onto pavement once again and  then onto the main highway heading south to the Tetons, I turned into the wind.  Keeping an eye on the dark afternoon thunderstorms gathering over the mountains to the west, I spun into th wind.  For those who have been to the Tetons, coming to them from the north, you know that there is a large hill that you must drive over before being granted the amazing views everyone wants to see of the Tetons.  Yeah… that hill really sucks on a bike in a tailwind with 85 mile tired legs.  But it got done, and the descent was phenomenal, clocking in at 34 mph, which the Cuttthroad handled smoothly.

Weaving along the eastern shore of Jackson Lake, the miles slowly ticked away, the views providing motivation, until finally the Colter Bay turn arrived and down, down, down I rolled.  It’s been a few years since I’ve been here, but its still the same mad-house.  

No reservations needed for hiker-biker sites.  Tent set up, I biked back to the main part of Colter Bay and spent $25 on what should have been $12 worth of food.  Sitting in front of the grocery and soveignier store with my shoes off, my farmer tanned legs and arms bared, and my face scruffy and burnt looking… I’m pretty sure most people were wondering how a homeless guy got to the Tetons.

Those thunderstorms spent themselves for the most part getting over the mountains.  Only 10 minutes of fat drops and lots of thunder have graced camp and now I write scrunched over in the tent.  My Bluetooth keyboard- cause I’m fancy- has decided that I shound’t get to use arrow keys today.

Tonight I will write postcards to send to the girls.  Tomorrow, we head east towards Union Pass and the highest elevations yet.